


I got you, here, with me

by Enamis2001



Series: MacGyver [3]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Characters Bashing, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jack protect Mac, Suicide Attempt, Whump, dad!Jack, love between father and son, macriley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enamis2001/pseuds/Enamis2001
Summary: When Jack finally come back from his mission, he didn't expect to see his kid so lost and distrust.Maybe a good conversation with the team is what he need to finally starting to heal ?
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Jack Dalton (MacGyver TV 2016) & Riley Davis, Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: MacGyver [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050722
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	I got you, here, with me

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Je suis là, avec toi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28026030) by [Enamis2001](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enamis2001/pseuds/Enamis2001)



> I received so much love on the others one-shot that I decide to do this one to make all those persons happy. It's not in my habits to post a story a day, and I have to start reviewing for my exams in less than a month, but I will do my best to give something time to times.  
> It's a lot of father!Jack protecting Mac from mental harm, and I indulge myself with a little MacRiley.  
> Enjoy !

Being a secret agent wasn’t easy.

Between infiltration, fights, unforeseen events, lies, kidnapping… There was enough to make terrifying nightmares, and accumulate more trauma in a day than a normal person would have in a lifetime.

Especially since they were not recognized for their performances, and they were content to be the good men in the shadows.

It was good enough to know that they were settling more conflicts in a day than any other organization in the world.

But it also made human relations difficult. Having to hide your real work, having to hide under a false identity… in the long run it would get tiring, and every once in a while you come to hope that it will all stop one day.

Angus MacGyver was one of those agents. He had racked up more trauma than anyone else in his agency.

Between a father absent for more than eighteen years, a mother who died at the age of five, the horrors of the army, death, looting, torture, poverty, the cruelties done to poor citizens, but also death from one of his friends, the burden of having to choose between what was bad and what was worse, his father's death protecting him, learning that his mother was part of an organization seeking to eliminate almost half of the population 'for the greater good', his aunt who had resumed her work, then who died also wanting to protect him…

Yeah, Mac was one of those people life hadn't spared.

So he relied on his loving family, the one he always believed was there for him. But Jack had to go on a super dangerous mission. It had been several years since he had spoken to Cage. Leanna died on a mission, destroying Bozer who had also been away from him for a while. He and Desi had ended up going from bad to worse, creating nuclear-like conflicts between them. Russ was not someone to trust, never being honest with them, withholding very important information only revealing it when it was too late.

The only one there he trusted were Bozer, Matty, and Riley. Maybe because they were part of the original team. Maybe because he had known Bozer for over twenty years, Matty was like the mother he never had, and Riley had proven time and time again that she trusted him blindly ...

But since Codex, tensions had remained between them all. Oh, he suspected that Matty and Bozer were only worried about him, but it hurt when he realized that they didn't trust him one hundred percent.

As for Riley, she had become more distant than ever. Yet he knew she trusted him. She had defended him, followed him, protected him despite not having any plan, at the risk of becoming a traitor of her country herself.

So why ?

Mac felt like everyone he cared about always ended up giving up on him somehow, leaving him alone, in the dark, with no light to guide him.

And he was tired of feeling so hopeless, so dependent on others. He was tired of having to make decisions which, no matter what, would cost someone their life… Charlie, Lasky, his father, Gwen, and so many others whose names he didn't know…

He just wanted to stop hurting, feeling so fragile, helpless.

Mac gripped the gun in his hand. He had never liked guns, and it was good for a reason. After living in the military, and seeing all the harm these things did in the world, he couldn't help but be loathed.

And yet it was this object that will finally allow him to rest.

He turned the weapon in his hand over and over again, going through all the mechanisms that made it deadly, dangerous. He repeated to himself over and over again its different constituents, what they were used for, what they could be used for.

He continued like this for hours, until the front door slammed open and a deep voice he knew well was heard.

“Mac ! Guess who just protected the world from the first-time scum once again ?”

Jack Dalton. His friend. His brother. His surrogate father. After more than four years, he finally heard his voice.

His tall stature came through the opening to the living room, grinning. A smile that he quickly lost when he saw Mac, sitting on his couch, his mouth open, eyes wet and dark circles, hair disheveled, and a gun in his hand.

A gun.

“Mac ? What are you doing with that ?”

Jack spoke quietly, approaching him slowly, one step at a time. He got rid of his bag on the way, and put his hands in front of him as if to calm a wild animal.

“Mac ?” He repeated looking to provoke the slightest answer from his friend.

Except that he didn't say a word, the weapon still squeezing firmly in his hand. He was in shock, not believing what he was seeing in front of his eyes.

Jack made it to the couch, and tried to take the gun out of Mac's hand. Except that he didn't want to let go.

_No ! It was his only chance to stop suffering!_

The thought woke Mac, who jerked away behind the coffee table.

“No !”

“Mac, what's wrong ?” Jack asked, trying to approach again.

“Nothing ! Nothing is right !”

The tears in his red eyes finally fell, blurring the young man's gaze.

“Nothing’s good Jack… I don't have anyone anymore, everyone's dead, or gone, or distant, or not trusting me so much… I don't want this life anymore, Jack.”

“Wow, wow, wow, slow down a bit. Who is dead ?”

“My dad, my maternal aunt, Lasky, Charlie, and so many others whose names I don't know ! Everyone is dying around me ! No one is safe !”

Jack didn't understand what Mac was saying any more, but he knew it wouldn't make more sense now than later. He will ask Matty for details after calming Mac.

“I am here, me,” he said softly, arriving at his level.

He tried to pick up the gun again, but Mac pushed him aside and walked away once more. “No !”

“Mac, calm down ! Everything is fine ! I'm still here, and Matty, Bozer, Riley…”

Hearing the names of his friends, Mac's crying grew louder, to the point where he could hardly breathe.

“Matty, Bozer ? They don't trust me as much as they used to ! They think I'm broken ! And it must be several days since I last spoke to Riley !”

He laughed bitterly, stroking the cold metal of the weapon with his free hand. He continued to gasp, short of breath, his face flushed with the lack of oxygen returning to his lungs.

Jack got fed up with it, and most of all was terrified of the man in front of him. Where had the too confident, inventive, courageous, smiling kid gone ? Who was the downcast man in front of him?

He briskly approached, and with a hand, slapped Mac's wrist, who reluctantly released the weapon. Jack grabbed it and set it as far away from Mac as possible. Then he approached his son of heart, and took him in his arms.

Mac's crying broke his heart, and he didn't know what to do to make him feel better. We were a long way from the panic attack caused by a mission that had almost gone wrong.

We were in the midst of depression, in the pain that we inflicted on ourselves in order to justify having to die in order to protect others. We got to the point where Mac didn't know who to trust, who to talk to to ease his conscience.

“Shhh, I'm here, I'm here ... I won't be leaving, I promise.”

He continued to whisper meaningless words to him, rocking him until his crying subsided, and his breathing returned to normal. Jack took the opportunity to sit him back down on the couch, and Mac didn't wait more than ten minutes to fall into a deep sleep.

All these emotions must have made him tired.

Jack sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't understand what was going on, but what he did know was that heads would fall if he didn't like the explanations the team had to give him. Right now he had to focus on Mac, and tomorrow he would bring everyone together.

He did text Matty anyway, warning her that he was back, and that they had a lot of explanation for him starting tomorrow. Oh, and that Mac would take at least a week's vacation, non-negotiable.

She tried to tell him it was impossible, but Jack was firm, and unless the apocalypse was announced and the only person capable of saving the world was Mac, then his boy was going to get some much needed rest.

Then he turned off his phone, and got up to cook dinner worthy of the name. Mac didn't know how to cook, that was a fact, and he wondered how he had managed to survive that long just on take out.

He covered Mac with a plaid and walked over to the kitchen. He often took the trouble to check that all was well on his side, resuming his role of guardian very much at heart after the scene that had greeted him. And aside from a few nightmares, Mac slept more or less soundly.

Eventually he wakes him up to eat, before he pushes him to sleep in his room until the next day. Mac was so disconnected that he didn't notice a thing at all.

He lay down in his bed and closed his eyes.

Jack returned to the couch and turned on the television, thanking God that Mac was too fond of cartoons and video games to take it down.

He spent the night like this, and woke up at dawn with a start. He had dreamed that hehad arrived too late, that Mac had already pulled the trigger, and that he had found him in his own pool of blood.

Jack stood up, rubbing his eyes, and poked his head around Mac's room, finding him still sleeping. He smiled and closed the door.

There was a lot to do, but he couldn't leave Mac unattended. Who knew what he would do in his absence. The only solution would be to take him with him to Phoenix, and leave him in the hands of one of the agents while he chatted with the rest of the team.

Mac woke up at that point, and Jack had never seen him looking so much like a child than now.

“Mac, did you sleep well ?”

He nodded softly. Jack stood up and stood in front of him.

“I must go to Phoenix, and I would like you to come with me, if you will.”

In those cases, it was better to give him a choice. But Mac nodded, making Jack sigh in relief.

After breakfast, Jack warned Matty that he would be there in fifteen minutes, and that she had better call the whole team, and prepare a place where Mac could rest.

_I thought he was on vacation?_

_I won't let it out of my sight just yet._

They arrived in Phoenix in ten minutes. An agent was at the entrance intending to lead Mac to one of the break rooms, while Jack made his way to the War Room.

Although he was pretty pissed off at them for screwing up Mac so much, he couldn't help but smile when he saw them all come together.

“Hey, hey ! Look who's back !”

Riley was the first to turn around, and throw herself into his open arms.

“Jack !”

“Hey, sweetheart. You’re okay ?”

“Better now that you're back,” she whispered to him.

Matty smiled at him. “It’s good to see you again Dalton.”

“A smile ! Matty, you spoil me !”

Bozer approached him after Riley let go, and hugged him too.

“Bozer ! How are you, man ? Finally produced, this film ?”

“No, but soon !” He smiles at him, letting go.

Desi walked over to him and held out her hand. Jack smiled and pulled her towards him, giving her a hug as well.

“Thanks for protecting Mac in my absence,” he whispered to her.

She nodded, and released him.

Jack turned his head on the new head of the group. “I see we have a new one among us.”

“Russ Taylor. I've heard a lot from you, Jack Dalton.”

He came closer to shake her hand, which Jack accepted. “Me, too, Taylor, and not all for good.”

“Ah, I admit I did some bad things, but I decided to change.”

Jack nodded once, and lost his smile. He folded his arms and glanced at everyone in the room.

“Now that the introductions are done, and the hugs have been exchanged, could someone explain to me why Mac had a gun in his hand that I dropped by to see him last night ?”

The silence, already heavy with his serious and disappointed expression, became horrified at Jack's words.

“Mac with a gun in his hand ?” Matty repeated.

“Yes, Matty. I had never seen him like this, even after Cairo. What happened during those four years of absence that caused this child to be so broken he seeks to kill himself ?”

“Kill himself ?”

Riley felt her knees weaken, and fell to the floor. Bozer put one hand on her shoulder, the other covering his mouth. Matty was wide eyed, shocked. Russ and Desi looked away.

“No, he wouldn't do that, would he ? Jack, tell me that's wrong,” Riley pleaded.

“Riley, I walked in and saw him sitting on his couch, gun in hand, loaded. He had a blank, tired look. So have someone explain to me why my boy is in this condition !” He finally roared.

“Calm down Dalton. And sit down. It's a long story.”

Matty began to recount past events while he was hunting a mad terrorist. Throughout the story he kept a straight face, not showing any emotion. His mask shattered when they talked about the deaths of Charlie, Nemesis, and the fact that Mac had to sacrifice the life of an innocent man to save the life of the whole town.

He hugged Riley, knowing that she must be feeling very guilty that Mac must have come this far because of her. He whispered to her that it wasn't her fault, and that they would discuss it later.

He raised his eyebrows when he heard that Desi and Mac were dating before breaking up, only to date again, and breaking up again.

“I knew he was going to either love you or hate you, but I never believed you would get there. After all, you are very different from each other. You have nothing in common outside of missions.”

Desi looked down, knowing that Jack was right all along. Even Mac had said so. They are only okay when everything is bad around them.

Matty got to the point where the Supervisor died, and Jack bowed his head in homage to this man who loved his son despite everything.

“Then came Codex.”

“Codex ?”

“Mac’s mother had, say, a strong idea of how to preserve the planet, exterminating nearly half of the world's population,” explained Bozer.

“Mac’s mother ? The mother of that angel who blames himself for the death of a pigeon ? ” wonderedJack.

“Herself,” Riley asserted. “And when she was dead, her little sister, Gwendolyn, took up the torch. A lovely woman.”

Jack raised his eyebrows. Matty explained the story with the Merchant to him, then Riley went on to explain that Mac had decided to infiltrate Codex without telling anyone. They accused him of treason -Jack didn't fail to notice the angry look she gave Russ and Desi- and she decided to follow Mac after finding out where he was. She had done the best she could to protect him while he was gone.

Jack felt his pride rise in what his near-adopted daughter had accomplished.

“You did exactly what I would have done,” he complimented her. “Thank you for not losing faith in Mac.”

Riley smiled weakly at him, as Jack saw that Desi had looked down again, and Riley ended up explaining to him how Aunt Gwen had died, protecting him as well. Jack felt his heart break when he realized that Mac had no biological families anymore. But nothing compared to the fury that took his guts.

“I can't believe it…”

He rested his fingers against his eyes, trying to get rid of the headache taking his head.

“Matty, Bozer, I thought since the time you've known Mac, you would know better than anyone that he's not the type to commit treason against a world he has sworn to protect. Especially you Bozer. You are his childhood friend. You should have trusted him more.”

“Dalton…”

“Dalton nothing at all, Matty ! He lived much worse during the war, and yet he never gave up, he never refused to do his job. I often had to pull him out of horrible situations because he absolutely wanted to save innocent people !” He say with exasperation. “So why would he decide to kill half the globe on a whim ? An earth that he has protected for nearly ten years ? Go ahead, give me a valid explanation !”

Matty remained silent, obviously not knowing what to say, as she knew Jack was right all along. She knew every agent's file inside out, she knew Mac had been through horrible things, but he never gave up in the face of the difficulty. Even more, she knew Mac's heart. This young man so good, so pure, that he loath to even touch a gun.

Had she broken him so badly that he wanted to end it?

Bozer felt the tears flow from his face. They had. He knew Mac wasn't the type who wanted to do ‘ka-boom’ half the world. But he had doubted at first. He finally understood and sent him a warning message against the missile, but what was it really for if he had lost the trust of the guy, his brother, who had saved his skin more than once ?

Jack did nothing to ease their guilt, and turned to Russ.

“You, I don't know why, but I feel like part of this whole thing is your fault.”

“Jack…”

Nothing at all. Lying, manipulating, arranging the truth your way, these are your skills. Mac trusted you, despite the fact that you had to lie to her face more than once. And is that how you thank him ?”

Jack wasted no more time and turned to Desi.

“As for you, Desi darling… I thought I was clear though. Whatever Mac chose, whatever his twisted plan, I trusted you to protect him. I thought I had explained to you that Mac never did anything for no reason.”

“But we are talking about treason !” She exclaims frustrated.

“Nothing to do ! You were already dating Mac, right ? At that moment ?”

He waited for her to nod.

“So you should have known by now that this guy wouldn't hurt a fly! He is incapable of doing any harm to anyone for free! He fights only to defend himself, and always finds a non-lethal way to take down his opponents !”

Jack started to pace up and down, not believing his ears. Four years since he'd been gone, and they'd already managed to screw up Mac's head.

Riley continued to cry, because she knew that if Jack hadn't blamed her, it was because he didn't know. The distance she had imposed on herself with Mac had to play a part in this whole thing as well.

“Where is he ?” She finally whispered.

“Mac ? In one of the break rooms,” Jack told her.

“The one on this floor, I thought you'd be reassured, Dalton.”

Riley didn't wait another second before running out the door and heading for the break room.

She had some excuses to make.

When she got to the door, and froze in front of the seen in front of her. Mac looked… empty. His eyes did not sparkle with humor, his clothes were crumpled, his hair disheveled, his skin white, sick, as if all the life in him had been sucked up.

“No…it’s my fault…”

She ignored the agent near him, and ran to throw herself into his arms. Selfishly, she had missed it. But it was not the same. He didn't wrap his own arms around her, hugging her to his heart as usual.

She thought she had done the right thing by walking away, wanting to give him and Desi the space they needed. But it was worse than she thought it would be.

“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry, Mac, if you only knew…”

She continued to cry, not paying attention to the show she was putting on. The most important thing was that Mac came back to himself, that he was back to being the happy, smiling man who got her out of prison with a paperclip.

She walked away, and cradled his head in her hands. She made him look her straight in the eye.

“Mac, nothing is your fault, you hear? I promis you. Their death is not your fault. Their lack of confidence is not your fault. My distance either. Nothing is your fault. Everything is ours. I designed Nemesis. Mason made the device that killed Charlie. Russ and Desi's mistrust is upon them, and Bozer and Matty's reluctance too. The distance between us is my fault.”

Tears were streaming faster and faster from her eyes, but Mac still seemed absent. So Riley did the only thing that crossed her mind to make the young man react. She moved closer until their foreheads were pressed together, took a deep breath, and put her lips to his.

It was quick, and didn't last more than a few seconds. But the result was there. Mac, startled, came out of his lethargic state and looked at Riley in shock. She pursed her lips, before smiling, resting her head on his shoulder.

Mac reacted instinctively, and wrapped his arms around the girl's small form. He breathed in her familiar scent, letting his tears fall once more.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to him.

“It’s okay as long as you're here now.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Riley pulled away and took his hand. She stood up and pulled him with her. She took him to the War Room, where everyone was silent.

Jack was sitting on one of the chairs, Mac sat on the one next to him, and Riley tried to sit on the armrest, but Mac didn't hear it that way and tugged on her still-tied hand to drop her onto his knees. Then he let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her, breathing in her scent once more.

Jack smirked when he saw Riley's flushed cheeks, who still decided to run her hands through his blonde curls in an effort to calm him down. He exchanged a look with Matty and Bozer, who were also smiling.

Now was not the time, but he would make sure they were as embarrassed as possible after everything was sorted out.

That was what a father was for after all.

“Well, I guess I'm speaking on everyone's behalf when I say we're sorry, Mac,” Matty began, coming over to pat his knee.

“That’s right, we would have known that you do everything for a reason, and have more confidence in yourself,” added Bozer.

Mac didn't make more than a nod of nod, his eyes still closed against Riley's brown curls.

“Mac, I also wanted to apologize for lying to you, and not trusting you enough to wait and see what you would have done,” Russ said from where he was standing.

He didn't dare come any closer with Jack glaring at him.

“And I'm sorry that I held onto something that made you more miserable than anything else. I should have seen after the first time that we didn't trust each other enough to try something on the next level,” Desi apologized.

Jack really had lectured them to make them so quick to apologize, especially Russ and Desi who _never_ begged for forgiveness.

Mac finally looked up, and gave them a small smile.

It was going to take a long time for him to gain confidence in himself again, and in them, but step by step he would get there, especially now that he was here. Jack was sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> So ? What do you think about it ?  
> Don't hesitate to give kiddos and comment, you don't know how much it's make me smile when I woke up in the morning 😊


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